Yeah!! Yeah?!?!?! You want me to whip her out, bro?! You want me to WHIP HER RIGHT ON OUT?!?!?!!
[ dick euphemism. matt laughs, picks up his camera and runs downstairs, outside, to the river leading to the sea, and unleashes carvanha in the water with a roar. unfortunately, he's got the camera facing the wrong way, so rather than seeing carvanha archie just gets a big close up of matt's face as he laughs and bellows like the drunken ox of a man he is. ]
Yeah!! YEAH!!!!!! I'm gettin' bored at work and I wanna see her beautiful self!!
[...except he doesn't, but archie isn't too bothered about what he gets instead. he takes a moment to watch matt be happy and laugh, taking it in, then decides to speak up.]
Bro!! Bro!! I love your face but I ain't seein' the girl of the hour, bro!!
[ matt laughs, a little embarrassed but mostly just happy. he's glad he's hit that kind of ease with archie where him saying "i love your face" just makes matt's heart flutter and feel warm rather than just make his stomach sink and boil with guilt and nerves. though, hey, that's there too, a little. lesser than it was, though.
he flips the camera around and there's carvanha in the river, big beachball as she is. she's grunting and snuffling like a granbull at the weeds on the riverbank and the tase of the distance beach air on her tongue, but mostly she's just rolling around a lot in the water and being so excited to be in the water that she doesn't know what to do with herself. just headbuttin a lot of sandbanks and smiling at the camera and matt. ]
[archie, meanwhile is mentally punching himself for not laying off the poor guy. why is he like this? why does he have to be 100% or 0?]
She's so good. I love her too. I want to come home and pat her right now. Matt. Tell her I'd die for her. I would die for her without a second thought or hesitation. Matt. I love her more than I love anything else in this world.
[ and he does. it goes on for... a really long time, actually. three, maybe four minutes of him just making smoochy noises and talking about how much he and archie both love her while carvanha gruffly snuffles in the water and splashes about like the spiky beachball she is. matt kinda loses himself in the moment, just going on and on about how happy he is to know her, and he brings up home, too, more than he has since he came here - he talks about how happy carvanha used to be when she played with the grunts and how he hopes she'll make those friends here, too, he talks about how she's always been at his side "even when the seas were rough", he talks about... a lot of things. and when he catches what he's doing, making this dumb moment all serious and stupid, he trails off, so archie just sees carvanha splashin' around in the river while matt quietly pats her rough rough face. a little awkwardly, he tries to talk again. ]
I bet you've missed her. And Sharpedo. Seven months is ages.
[archie enjoys it, to begin with. he likes hearing matt be happy and talk to carvanha - who is really cute, okay - and watch it slashing around. matt can't see him, but his dumb grin kind of fades when he realises matt is catching himself talking about home.
it may have made matt sad, but archie is thankful carvanha is there with him, at least.]
Shit, bro, you've got no idea. I'm just about ready to ditch work and come say hi to you both!!!
[because he presumably left at dumb o'cock in the morning.]
Dude, do it! I mean... I'm pretty sure I ain't ever gonna go to work unless I gotta, so... ain't like I'm gonna be anywhere else today.
[ he shrugs. honestly, he's dealing with his problems in pretty much direct opposition to how archie is dealing with his - rather than drown (haha) himself in work, he's keeping away from people as much as possible when he knows he's not in a place to just be overly happy and stupid. staying in the water and isolating himself from the world is better than going out and fucking up, and he doesn't really trust himself not to fuck up even something as simple as a retail job at a scuba store, so... ]
You wanna see Archie, Carvanha? You wanna see your other dad? [ he's laughin', apparently unaware of what he just said, while Carvanha splashes about, thrilled at hearing her other dad's name. ] Bro, look how hype she is. You can't let her down!
[ Matt is in the river by the time Archie arrives, submerged in the water from the nose down, and he's cuddling Carvanha who immediately starts thrashing wildly and smacking him in the face in her attempts to get out of her trainer's arms to see Archie. Matt lets it happen, but kinda scoots closer to the river when she starts trying to jump up onto land to get to Archie faster. goofball.
matt waves at archie and beckons him to come for a swim, but honestly carvanha is splashing around so loudly and grunting like such an angry happy pig-dog-fish that he isn't even gonna bother raising his voice, archie wouldn't be able to hear it. ]
[he slightly ignores matt, jumping past him and immediately twisting around to wrap carvanha up in his arms. he then swims backwards into matt as he lets carvanha rub all over his face.]
[ well. that's fine. matt's fine with being ignored for carvanha. he'd ignore archie for carvanha, too. he just kinda floats out of the way while archie and carvanha play together, idly blowing bubbles in the water and watching his dumb fish family havin' a good time together, then obediently catches archie when he swims back. ]
She loves you too, bro!! I mean-- [ carvanha leaps out of the water and just smacks archie in the face, trying to lick him like a dog but instead just sorta drooling and mashing her teeth on him. ]
She's gonna scratch your face off in a minute, but that's just 'cause of how much she loves you. SPOILERS, BRO: SHE LOVES YOU A LOT.
[ matt laughs all high-pitched and childish when sharpedo headbutts him, immediately gasping for breath right after because hey, yo, he got headbutted in the chest by a fucking shark. he doesn't care, though. just snuggles his shark boy up.
he lets his own sharpedo out, he, too, losing his shit over all this attention and swimming around as fast as he can in the depths of the river, and with one patt matt lets archie's sharpedo chase after it if he wants. while carvanha keeps jumping up at archie with all these dumb happy piranha tears flooding down her cute fat face, matt swims to the river bank and just sits down, kicking his legs in the water. ]
She'll take you seriously, bro. You remember that time she tried to eat off that grunt's arm 'cause he took away her food and I jokingly told her to punish him? That pretty face of yours is gonna be all chomped up soon.
[ he likes archie's face. he watches his boss and his pokemon play together and tries not to miss shelly. ]
... Could be seven months from now, if that happens. You went a long time without anyone from home, bro. I don't wanna get my hopes up or nothin'. I'd be fine if it was just us forever.
[ he kicks the water, splashing carvanha, who gets so excited that she bites down on archie's arm even harder. ouch. sorry. ]
hey this isnt video its been action for like 3 years
[that's... 90% the truth. he'd never stop missing shelly.
he yelps a little in pain and surprise, but whatever. like sharpedo chewing on him isn't this kind of strength all the time. he chucks her under her chin, knowing how to get her to Release.]
[ well, yeah, matt misses shelly, too, but - he can't exactly hammer in the "i don't want to think about the people who might not come here" point if he brings up the people who might not come here. and so.
matt laughs when Carvanha lets go, gently lapping at Archie with her tongue and flopping backwards and away, deciding to swim away and chase after the two sharpedo instead. matt waves her off but she immediately comes back, unable to keep up with the older boys, sadly sulking against archie's leg in her defeat. dumb. ]
Oh, uh - Waterfall an' Crunch an' Ice Fang an' Aqua Jet. You wanna see how strong she is? 'Cause she could take you out with any one of 'em.
[ Archie hasn't even finished asking the question when-- ]
Yeah. [ he has to repeat himself. ] Yes! [ wait, isn't this how archie reacted when matt asked him to be boyfriends? matt's that excited to battle, apparently. R E G A R D L E S S he calls carvanha over and she nips at his ankles as they dangle in the water, and he laughs. silly girl. ]
She's not really the best at battling, but-- [ but the word battle has her in an excited frenzy, swimming back and forth through the water like she knows what's coming. matt coughs into his fist. ]
Go a little easy on her, okay, bro? Strong lil badass she might be, but she won't be able to hold up if you go full force.
Yeah, but-- but she ain't a grunt! You don't gotta go as hard on her as we did on them! She ain't meant for big serious battles against big hot dudes like you, bro! She's my cute sweet and precious Carvanha princess who I'm gonna enter in a bunch of contests so everyone can see how tough she is!
[ matt's tough princess snorts in the water and continues splashing around, excited for a big serious battle against a big hot dude like archie. matt sighs. ]
I mean, okay. Two insteada one sounds good. [ he jumps to his feet, flexing his arms, hitting his Battle Pose. ] Let's-- let's do it, bro! Carvanha, you ready?! BATTLE POSITIONS, CARVANHA.
[ carvanha gets in her battle position. if she had large biceps she would flex them, but instead she just snorts some more and ruffles herself up at the bank by matt's feet, swimming from side to side ready to eat some shark. ]
[archie's sharpedo shows up a couple of seconds later, matt's in tow. it swims in front of him as it realises there's a battle - though not after bomping into archie for a pat - and rolls a few times in excitement.]
Okay, here we go. Sharpedo, use Screech on her! But take it easy, yeah?
[the sharpedo grunts in acknowledgment, then opens its mouth and lets out an ungodly noise.
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video
[GRIND IT OUT UNTIL IT EVOLVES HRRRNNGHn]
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[ GRIND OUT YOUR FACE WITH YOUR TERRIBLE IDEA HRAAAAAUGH ]
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Shit! Shit, bro! I wanna see her right now!!
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[ dick euphemism. matt laughs, picks up his camera and runs downstairs, outside, to the river leading to the sea, and unleashes carvanha in the water with a roar. unfortunately, he's got the camera facing the wrong way, so rather than seeing carvanha archie just gets a big close up of matt's face as he laughs and bellows like the drunken ox of a man he is. ]
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[...except he doesn't, but archie isn't too bothered about what he gets instead. he takes a moment to watch matt be happy and laugh, taking it in, then decides to speak up.]
Bro!! Bro!! I love your face but I ain't seein' the girl of the hour, bro!!
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[ matt laughs, a little embarrassed but mostly just happy. he's glad he's hit that kind of ease with archie where him saying "i love your face" just makes matt's heart flutter and feel warm rather than just make his stomach sink and boil with guilt and nerves. though, hey, that's there too, a little. lesser than it was, though.
he flips the camera around and there's carvanha in the river, big beachball as she is. she's grunting and snuffling like a granbull at the weeds on the riverbank and the tase of the distance beach air on her tongue, but mostly she's just rolling around a lot in the water and being so excited to be in the water that she doesn't know what to do with herself. just headbuttin a lot of sandbanks and smiling at the camera and matt. ]
Augh. Aaaaaugh. Aggggggggh. I love her so much.
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She's so good. I love her too. I want to come home and pat her right now. Matt. Tell her I'd die for her. I would die for her without a second thought or hesitation. Matt. I love her more than I love anything else in this world.
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[ and he does. it goes on for... a really long time, actually. three, maybe four minutes of him just making smoochy noises and talking about how much he and archie both love her while carvanha gruffly snuffles in the water and splashes about like the spiky beachball she is. matt kinda loses himself in the moment, just going on and on about how happy he is to know her, and he brings up home, too, more than he has since he came here - he talks about how happy carvanha used to be when she played with the grunts and how he hopes she'll make those friends here, too, he talks about how she's always been at his side "even when the seas were rough", he talks about... a lot of things. and when he catches what he's doing, making this dumb moment all serious and stupid, he trails off, so archie just sees carvanha splashin' around in the river while matt quietly pats her rough rough face. a little awkwardly, he tries to talk again. ]
I bet you've missed her. And Sharpedo. Seven months is ages.
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it may have made matt sad, but archie is thankful carvanha is there with him, at least.]
Shit, bro, you've got no idea. I'm just about ready to ditch work and come say hi to you both!!!
[because he presumably left at dumb o'cock in the morning.]
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[ he shrugs. honestly, he's dealing with his problems in pretty much direct opposition to how archie is dealing with his - rather than drown (haha) himself in work, he's keeping away from people as much as possible when he knows he's not in a place to just be overly happy and stupid. staying in the water and isolating himself from the world is better than going out and fucking up, and he doesn't really trust himself not to fuck up even something as simple as a retail job at a scuba store, so... ]
You wanna see Archie, Carvanha? You wanna see your other dad? [ he's laughin', apparently unaware of what he just said, while Carvanha splashes about, thrilled at hearing her other dad's name. ] Bro, look how hype she is. You can't let her down!
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I'M ON MY WAY BRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[and about twenty minutes later archie is barelling through their back door and skidding down to the river bank while screaming]
CARVANHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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matt waves at archie and beckons him to come for a swim, but honestly carvanha is splashing around so loudly and grunting like such an angry happy pig-dog-fish that he isn't even gonna bother raising his voice, archie wouldn't be able to hear it. ]
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[he slightly ignores matt, jumping past him and immediately twisting around to wrap carvanha up in his arms. he then swims backwards into matt as he lets carvanha rub all over his face.]
I love her! I LOVE HER!!!
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She loves you too, bro!! I mean-- [ carvanha leaps out of the water and just smacks archie in the face, trying to lick him like a dog but instead just sorta drooling and mashing her teeth on him. ]
She's gonna scratch your face off in a minute, but that's just 'cause of how much she loves you. SPOILERS, BRO: SHE LOVES YOU A LOT.
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[he releases his own sharpedo, just to give it a chance to socialise.
...it immediately Headbutts matt. right in the chest.]
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he lets his own sharpedo out, he, too, losing his shit over all this attention and swimming around as fast as he can in the depths of the river, and with one patt matt lets archie's sharpedo chase after it if he wants. while carvanha keeps jumping up at archie with all these dumb happy piranha tears flooding down her cute fat face, matt swims to the river bank and just sits down, kicking his legs in the water. ]
She'll take you seriously, bro. You remember that time she tried to eat off that grunt's arm 'cause he took away her food and I jokingly told her to punish him? That pretty face of yours is gonna be all chomped up soon.
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Got it. I do actually care if she eats my beautiful face.
[he idly scritches behind her flapping fins while she chews on his arm.]
...It's possible some grunts could show up here, you know.
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[ he likes archie's face. he watches his boss and his pokemon play together and tries not to miss shelly. ]
... Could be seven months from now, if that happens. You went a long time without anyone from home, bro. I don't wanna get my hopes up or nothin'. I'd be fine if it was just us forever.
[ he kicks the water, splashing carvanha, who gets so excited that she bites down on archie's arm even harder. ouch. sorry. ]
hey this isnt video its been action for like 3 years
[that's... 90% the truth. he'd never stop missing shelly.
he yelps a little in pain and surprise, but whatever. like sharpedo chewing on him isn't this kind of strength all the time. he chucks her under her chin, knowing how to get her to Release.]
...What moves does she know?
calling me out like this
matt laughs when Carvanha lets go, gently lapping at Archie with her tongue and flopping backwards and away, deciding to swim away and chase after the two sharpedo instead. matt waves her off but she immediately comes back, unable to keep up with the older boys, sadly sulking against archie's leg in her defeat. dumb. ]
Oh, uh - Waterfall an' Crunch an' Ice Fang an' Aqua Jet. You wanna see how strong she is? 'Cause she could take you out with any one of 'em.
hoh o
Shit, that's a nice set up, bro. We can battle if you want! Can we battle??
[can you say no to that face]
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Yeah. [ he has to repeat himself. ] Yes! [ wait, isn't this how archie reacted when matt asked him to be boyfriends? matt's that excited to battle, apparently. R E G A R D L E S S he calls carvanha over and she nips at his ankles as they dangle in the water, and he laughs. silly girl. ]
She's not really the best at battling, but-- [ but the word battle has her in an excited frenzy, swimming back and forth through the water like she knows what's coming. matt coughs into his fist. ]
Go a little easy on her, okay, bro? Strong lil badass she might be, but she won't be able to hold up if you go full force.
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[he whistles, calling sharpedo back.]
How about she gets two moves instead of one?
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[ matt's tough princess snorts in the water and continues splashing around, excited for a big serious battle against a big hot dude like archie. matt sighs. ]
I mean, okay. Two insteada one sounds good. [ he jumps to his feet, flexing his arms, hitting his Battle Pose. ] Let's-- let's do it, bro! Carvanha, you ready?! BATTLE POSITIONS, CARVANHA.
[ carvanha gets in her battle position. if she had large biceps she would flex them, but instead she just snorts some more and ruffles herself up at the bank by matt's feet, swimming from side to side ready to eat some shark. ]
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Okay, here we go. Sharpedo, use Screech on her! But take it easy, yeah?
[the sharpedo grunts in acknowledgment, then opens its mouth and lets out an ungodly noise.
good start.]
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