[ Archie hasn't even finished asking the question when-- ]
Yeah. [ he has to repeat himself. ] Yes! [ wait, isn't this how archie reacted when matt asked him to be boyfriends? matt's that excited to battle, apparently. R E G A R D L E S S he calls carvanha over and she nips at his ankles as they dangle in the water, and he laughs. silly girl. ]
She's not really the best at battling, but-- [ but the word battle has her in an excited frenzy, swimming back and forth through the water like she knows what's coming. matt coughs into his fist. ]
Go a little easy on her, okay, bro? Strong lil badass she might be, but she won't be able to hold up if you go full force.
Yeah, but-- but she ain't a grunt! You don't gotta go as hard on her as we did on them! She ain't meant for big serious battles against big hot dudes like you, bro! She's my cute sweet and precious Carvanha princess who I'm gonna enter in a bunch of contests so everyone can see how tough she is!
[ matt's tough princess snorts in the water and continues splashing around, excited for a big serious battle against a big hot dude like archie. matt sighs. ]
I mean, okay. Two insteada one sounds good. [ he jumps to his feet, flexing his arms, hitting his Battle Pose. ] Let's-- let's do it, bro! Carvanha, you ready?! BATTLE POSITIONS, CARVANHA.
[ carvanha gets in her battle position. if she had large biceps she would flex them, but instead she just snorts some more and ruffles herself up at the bank by matt's feet, swimming from side to side ready to eat some shark. ]
[archie's sharpedo shows up a couple of seconds later, matt's in tow. it swims in front of him as it realises there's a battle - though not after bomping into archie for a pat - and rolls a few times in excitement.]
Okay, here we go. Sharpedo, use Screech on her! But take it easy, yeah?
[the sharpedo grunts in acknowledgment, then opens its mouth and lets out an ungodly noise.
[ Matt laughs like this is the funniest thing he's ever heard in his entire life, which isn't actually a new reaction for him. He loves when Sharpedo does his silly bird voice.
carvanha doesn't? she flaps a bit in the water and swims in circles, clearly not enjoying the noise. matt stops laughing and feels a little bad for her, but once she's adjusted to it she's just splashing around magikarp-style, waiting for her orders and hyped for them. well, okay. ]
Yo, okay! [ sharpedo resists literally all of carvanha's moves, but he's not gonna break that to her. ] Hit 'im with a Waterfall, bro!!!
[ and she does! she shakes off the last remnants of the noise and just freakin' charges sharpedo, smackin' him in the face, water going everywhere. she looks INCREDIBLY excited to have made contact. ]
[archie claps, cheering her on, despite the fact she's attacking his pokémon. sharpedo flings itself backwards, acting more hurt than it is. she does actually get it to flinch, though, which is lucky.]
Oh, shit! He flinched! That's another opening, Carvanha!
[ Matt just dances in place, punching the air and hollering wordlessly to the sky, cheering Carvanha on. He points at Sharpedo, getting ready to pick Carvanha up and dive into the fray with her if he has to. bad. Bad ]
Carvanha! CARVANHAAAA.
[ ... ??? carvanha just takes that as another Waterfall command and charges into Sharpedo again. Matt laughs in he background, still just causing a scene. Bad Trainer ]
[the waterfall hits again, as moves tend to when a pokémon flinch. the second time knocks sharpedo back further, into archie. he puts his hands on it, giving it a pat.]
S-So scary! [ matt puts his hands over his eyes, trying to act terrified but smiling too much to actually do it. carvanha, though, slows down in the water, gruffling unhappily and warily swimming in place. ]
Don't look, sis-bro! Use yourself a freakin' Crunch!
[ and she does, unhinging her fucking god damn jaw and just sinking down on sharpedo's skin. she snuffles a little at the rough skin hitting her, but she's a boss and ain't giving up. ]
[it's a crit! sharpedo yelps and rolls, trying to get the poor carvanha off its side. archie watches this, trying to resist the urge to mega evolve sharpedo, to do anything that would actually be his usual tactics.
[ Matt shakes his fist at Archie's Sharpedo, who probably doesn't give a shit? Then he's back to stomping around on the grass with his hands over his eyes and just Too Much Energy. he's too excited, even as Carvanha is blown off Sharpedo and lands on the grass. Matt yelps and delicately picks her up and puts her back in the water. there u go sweetheart ]
HYPER BEAM!!!!!!!!
[ carvanha looks confused. matt laughs. carvanha laughs, too, in her fishy way, when she realizes she's been punked.
they both just laugh and forget about the battle for a second. ]
[ Matt fucking dives into the river, getting smacked in the side by one of Sharpedo's aqua jets and not even giving a fuck. He just wraps Carvanha in his arms and holds her tight while she sneffles and snorfs in his arm, still itching for a battle. she's splashing in place looking like she's about to dive after sharpedo, but he just hugs her until she's distracted and starts plantin' bitey love kisses all over him. ]
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Yeah. [ he has to repeat himself. ] Yes! [ wait, isn't this how archie reacted when matt asked him to be boyfriends? matt's that excited to battle, apparently. R E G A R D L E S S he calls carvanha over and she nips at his ankles as they dangle in the water, and he laughs. silly girl. ]
She's not really the best at battling, but-- [ but the word battle has her in an excited frenzy, swimming back and forth through the water like she knows what's coming. matt coughs into his fist. ]
Go a little easy on her, okay, bro? Strong lil badass she might be, but she won't be able to hold up if you go full force.
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[he whistles, calling sharpedo back.]
How about she gets two moves instead of one?
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[ matt's tough princess snorts in the water and continues splashing around, excited for a big serious battle against a big hot dude like archie. matt sighs. ]
I mean, okay. Two insteada one sounds good. [ he jumps to his feet, flexing his arms, hitting his Battle Pose. ] Let's-- let's do it, bro! Carvanha, you ready?! BATTLE POSITIONS, CARVANHA.
[ carvanha gets in her battle position. if she had large biceps she would flex them, but instead she just snorts some more and ruffles herself up at the bank by matt's feet, swimming from side to side ready to eat some shark. ]
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Okay, here we go. Sharpedo, use Screech on her! But take it easy, yeah?
[the sharpedo grunts in acknowledgment, then opens its mouth and lets out an ungodly noise.
good start.]
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carvanha doesn't? she flaps a bit in the water and swims in circles, clearly not enjoying the noise. matt stops laughing and feels a little bad for her, but once she's adjusted to it she's just splashing around magikarp-style, waiting for her orders and hyped for them. well, okay. ]
Yo, okay! [ sharpedo resists literally all of carvanha's moves, but he's not gonna break that to her. ] Hit 'im with a Waterfall, bro!!!
[ and she does! she shakes off the last remnants of the noise and just freakin' charges sharpedo, smackin' him in the face, water going everywhere. she looks INCREDIBLY excited to have made contact. ]
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Oh, shit! He flinched! That's another opening, Carvanha!
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[ Matt just dances in place, punching the air and hollering wordlessly to the sky, cheering Carvanha on. He points at Sharpedo, getting ready to pick Carvanha up and dive into the fray with her if he has to. bad. Bad ]
Carvanha! CARVANHAAAA.
[ ... ??? carvanha just takes that as another Waterfall command and charges into Sharpedo again. Matt laughs in he background, still just causing a scene. Bad Trainer ]
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Alright, Scary Face!
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Don't look, sis-bro! Use yourself a freakin' Crunch!
[ and she does, unhinging her fucking god damn jaw and just sinking down on sharpedo's skin. she snuffles a little at the rough skin hitting her, but she's a boss and ain't giving up. ]
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man, playing dumb is hard.]
Use Aqua Jet to get her off, but don't hit her!
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[ Matt shakes his fist at Archie's Sharpedo, who probably doesn't give a shit? Then he's back to stomping around on the grass with his hands over his eyes and just Too Much Energy. he's too excited, even as Carvanha is blown off Sharpedo and lands on the grass. Matt yelps and delicately picks her up and puts her back in the water. there u go sweetheart ]
HYPER BEAM!!!!!!!!
[ carvanha looks confused. matt laughs. carvanha laughs, too, in her fishy way, when she realizes she's been punked.
they both just laugh and forget about the battle for a second. ]
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She already hit me with Hyper Beam!! Right in my face!! WITH HOW CUTE SHE IS!!!!!
[archie yells, wading further into the river to get to sharpedo in the brief respite.]
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[ Matt fucking dives into the river, getting smacked in the side by one of Sharpedo's aqua jets and not even giving a fuck. He just wraps Carvanha in his arms and holds her tight while she sneffles and snorfs in his arm, still itching for a battle. she's splashing in place looking like she's about to dive after sharpedo, but he just hugs her until she's distracted and starts plantin' bitey love kisses all over him. ]
YOU BOTH WIN!!!!