Yeah... I really thought we were gonna fix things. Make the world a better place. Even if we didn't survive what we were trying to do, I thought-- it's just the kinda shit we deserve. Humans--
[ ugh, no. they would have gone over this thousands of times back home - humans have taken too much from pokemon, humans deserve retribution for the things they've done, the world is unnatural and needs to be fixed - he's too tired and depressed to rehash it all now. he's sure archie understands what he's feeling even if he doesn't put those feelings into words, anyway. ]
I dunno if I can. I dunno if I can come to terms with it.
[ matt needs to stay away from thinking things like that. he still believes in what they tried to do, but guilt and archie are both keeping him in check. if he didn't have those, who knew what he'd do. ]
I've never moved on from stuff before. So I dunno. Just acted out and did bad things when it got hard. [ he shrugs. ] Maybe we shouldn't talk about this so much.
[ matt nods, but for a while, that's all archie gets. it takes a lot of strength for him to say what comes next, a few minutes later. ]
Startin' to think it won't get any easier, bro. You've been here for a long time and even though you've always been stronger than me, I know you're still hurting real bad. I dunno how to carry all this shit. My chest hurts - [ he puts his hand on his heart - ] right here. An' I dunno how to make it calm down.
[ oh, good. matt bites back a pretty shitty comment about how he's not going to be able to do that, partially because he still hears the roar of the ocean in his ears every time he tries to lay down and partially because it was only, like, a month ago that he wanted to ruin everything all on his own, but. arguing isn't... gonna do anything. so. ]
You said-- you said you didn't leave your room except for when you had to. When you first got here. How, uh. How long did it take before you wanted to do more, bro?
Well, I had to start workin' because I needed money to get the stuff I needed to care for my team.
[government stipend wasn't enough, even with the assistance for food.]
I guess... it took about two months to fully start getting out again, but it was because I had stuff to do. I couldn't ask other people to walk Mightyena forever, Sharpedo was confined to a small pool because I wasn't taking him down to the sea... Muk couldn't even come out for longer than ten minutes a day to feed. It just wasn't fair on them.
[ Matt fidgets with his hands, suddenly nervous. he didn't really question why he was put in the same house as archie, but given the amenities - namely the river out back that he's been spending so much time in - he wonders if some government agent pulled some strings so they could end up together here. between that and the fact that he's been skipping work, he's starting to feel less like he's in his own home and more like he's gatecrashed archie's and stolen all his funds. ]
I-I better start gettin' back to work more. Sorry. I didn't realize, but I've been taking all your money, makin' you pay for food for Sharpedo and Carvanha. That ain't - that ain't fair. I've been all sad 'cause I haven't been seein' you as much as I want to and now I know it's 'cause I'm being selfish and robbin' you of all your shit. I'm robbing your shit, bro!
[ ... man, that's hard to argue. SO HE DOESN'T ARGUE. MATT USES RIB-CRACKING BONESMASH, CRUSHING HIS BOY ARCHIE IN HIS BIG BIG HUGS. RAUUUGH. ]
Bro! Bro!!! I love that! I love that!!! I love bein' bromestic with you!!! That's-- ugh. Augh! Bromestic and brogether, that's fuckin-- [ wait, wait, Matt realizes very quickly that he was the one who wanted to stop relying on "bro" to shield their thin veneer of disguising their Intense Homosexuality. he just sorta lets go real quick and stares Archie in the eyes. ]
[ Matt scoots forward, suddenly extremely serious. He's spent enough time not kissing Archie with MAXIMUM HYPERDRIVE SERIOUSNESS.
he initiates it, actually. hand on archie's chin, tilting him up to look at him, full on bishoujo manga style. he leans down, gives that boy the gayest kiss of his 5ft tall gay ass life. smooth. soft. get into it ]
[ughaaa imagine the biggest anime eyes ever that's what archie is looking at matt with right now.
it's very soft, because burly pirate boys they may be, but soft is how they do. archie slides his arms over matt's giant fucking shoulders like some kinda movie bullshit. the only reason he doesn't stick his leggy out is probably because matt's in the way and kicking him in the stomach isn't very smoochy. he lets it stay light n breezy for a couple seconds, just enjoying it and being with matt, then fuckin GOES TO DEEPEN IT HERE WE GO.]
[ matt laughs into the kiss as archie furthers it along, which would ruin the mood, if the mood wasn't just explicitly two dudes who are happy to finally have that kind of closeness they've both needed from each other for... years, probably. years with an extra seven months on top, for archie.
he moves his hand further along archie's jaw, just gently stroking his thumb over his neck, and it takes a little while for him to seperate, but eventually he does, peering down at him with a kind of red-faced seriousness that doesn't suit him. well, it does around archie, but not anyone else. ]
I love you a lot. A lot. A whole lot. You're-- you're okay. You're good. Good and okay and I love it. The best.
[he doesn't necessarily want it to end, but archie also doesn't try to prolong it. he pulls back as matt does, looking at him with a kind of heavy-lidded bliss that is... extremely rare to see on him, though definitely always happens when he's with matt. the rare times he actually feels somewhat at peace - like maybe he'd actually be able to have a pleasant rest instead of being disturbed every half hour by one thing or another.]
I love you too. I-- [he hesitates, though not because of uncertainty, but because he's gonna smooch matt right on his dumb blue cheek spikes.] --I feel like you dragged me out the woods, bro.
[ those stupid blue spikes sure go red real quick! matt scrubs his face with his hands and makes stupid embarrassed noises before pulling archie into a headlock and just dragging him as close to his body as he can. ]
You gotta stop sayin' stuff like that or I'm gonna die. I can't handle it, bro. It's too much!!!!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ ugh, no. they would have gone over this thousands of times back home - humans have taken too much from pokemon, humans deserve retribution for the things they've done, the world is unnatural and needs to be fixed - he's too tired and depressed to rehash it all now. he's sure archie understands what he's feeling even if he doesn't put those feelings into words, anyway. ]
I dunno if I can. I dunno if I can come to terms with it.
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he rubs matt's arm.]
Me neither, but... that's how you move on from stuff, right?
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I've never moved on from stuff before. So I dunno. Just acted out and did bad things when it got hard. [ he shrugs. ] Maybe we shouldn't talk about this so much.
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[he goes quiet, staying next to matt.]
I keep forgetting it was really recent for you.
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Startin' to think it won't get any easier, bro. You've been here for a long time and even though you've always been stronger than me, I know you're still hurting real bad. I dunno how to carry all this shit. My chest hurts - [ he puts his hand on his heart - ] right here. An' I dunno how to make it calm down.
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...It doesn't stop hurting, you just get used to it.
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You said-- you said you didn't leave your room except for when you had to. When you first got here. How, uh. How long did it take before you wanted to do more, bro?
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[government stipend wasn't enough, even with the assistance for food.]
I guess... it took about two months to fully start getting out again, but it was because I had stuff to do. I couldn't ask other people to walk Mightyena forever, Sharpedo was confined to a small pool because I wasn't taking him down to the sea... Muk couldn't even come out for longer than ten minutes a day to feed. It just wasn't fair on them.
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[ Matt fidgets with his hands, suddenly nervous. he didn't really question why he was put in the same house as archie, but given the amenities - namely the river out back that he's been spending so much time in - he wonders if some government agent pulled some strings so they could end up together here. between that and the fact that he's been skipping work, he's starting to feel less like he's in his own home and more like he's gatecrashed archie's and stolen all his funds. ]
I-I better start gettin' back to work more. Sorry. I didn't realize, but I've been taking all your money, makin' you pay for food for Sharpedo and Carvanha. That ain't - that ain't fair. I've been all sad 'cause I haven't been seein' you as much as I want to and now I know it's 'cause I'm being selfish and robbin' you of all your shit. I'm robbing your shit, bro!
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[he shakes his head, cutting himself off. not talking about that right.]
...'Sides it feels more... uh. Don't laugh. It feels domestic when you're here and there's no crazy bullshit going on and we're. Y'know. Together.
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Bro! Bro!!! I love that! I love that!!! I love bein' bromestic with you!!! That's-- ugh. Augh! Bromestic and brogether, that's fuckin-- [ wait, wait, Matt realizes very quickly that he was the one who wanted to stop relying on "bro" to shield their thin veneer of disguising their Intense Homosexuality. he just sorta lets go real quick and stares Archie in the eyes. ]
M'still gonna pay for my bed. [ heartbeat. ]
One way or another.
[ IT'S SEX ]
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[gross.]
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[ heheheheh. heh. this is stupid. matt doesn't care. ]
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he snorts unattractively.]
Arceus, you better make sure Carvanha's ball is in another room! She's too young for that!
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Man... I missed this. [ maybe it's still too soon to act like everything's better, but. everything's better. a little bit, at least. ]
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[he's jerked from the shove but he DOESN'T CARE matt always does shit like this. he's a strong boy and archie is proud of him and loves him.]
C'mere, asshole.
[who's getting a kiss IT'S MATT.]
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he initiates it, actually. hand on archie's chin, tilting him up to look at him, full on bishoujo manga style. he leans down, gives that boy the gayest kiss of his 5ft tall gay ass life. smooth. soft. get into it ]
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it's very soft, because burly pirate boys they may be, but soft is how they do. archie slides his arms over matt's giant fucking shoulders like some kinda movie bullshit. the only reason he doesn't stick his leggy out is probably because matt's in the way and kicking him in the stomach isn't very smoochy. he lets it stay light n breezy for a couple seconds, just enjoying it and being with matt, then fuckin GOES TO DEEPEN IT HERE WE GO.]
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he moves his hand further along archie's jaw, just gently stroking his thumb over his neck, and it takes a little while for him to seperate, but eventually he does, peering down at him with a kind of red-faced seriousness that doesn't suit him. well, it does around archie, but not anyone else. ]
I love you a lot. A lot. A whole lot. You're-- you're okay. You're good. Good and okay and I love it. The best.
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I love you too. I-- [he hesitates, though not because of uncertainty, but because he's gonna smooch matt right on his dumb blue cheek spikes.] --I feel like you dragged me out the woods, bro.
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You gotta stop sayin' stuff like that or I'm gonna die. I can't handle it, bro. It's too much!!!!
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[he laughs, shifting to just. Take His Place in matt's lap in the really weird position he's in. whatever.]
If I don't I'll explode!!!!